Monday, December 10, 2007

Re: Next week

On 11/24/07, Phil Klassic wrote:

Dear Diane,

I think that next week Dave will be spending a good deal of time on the research project, but can you please canvass staff as to whether anyone is doing anything interesting on the Tuesday and Wednesday...I think that Dave may get a little bored if he has to spend the whole week reading charts! He'll be reading on the Monday, I expect.

Dave, I'll be in Nunavut, I believe, on those days.

Dave, can you confirm that you've gotten permission to go to kenora with me next Thursday and Friday? I'll give you details next week as to travel arrangements.

From: Dave Smith
Date: 2 Dec 2007 00:21
Subject: Re: Next week
To: Phil Klassic, Diane Parry


Its been a while. I know we got together that one time, we had sex. move on get over it. It wasn't very good anyway.

Too right I got bored. If you guys kept me busy I wouldn't feel the need download the pictures of those small kids. They're so sweet anyways, I don't think anything I do can touch their purity, despite what Phil says. Phil is just a disgusting hypocite. Sodomy is not a right of passage. Phil you are wrong.

Despite your nice ass.

Nunavut is good. Dont know if I can cope recently, our boys are getting caught up


Thursday, November 8, 2007

Gemma Newton- girl from melbourne

On 03/11/2007, Gemma Newton wrote:

hey Dave.... just a qick note to say it was cool meeting you and having a drink at that cool parisian bar... hows uni going anyway? hey could you send me some of those photos we took that night, i remember there was a few funny ones. Take care Emmal
From: Dave Smith
Date: 8 Nov 2007 14:18
Subject: Re: Gemma Newton- girl from melbourne
To: Gemma Newton

hey Gemma, was cool meeting you too. are you going to send those naked pics you promised? remember? just kidding! but you can if you want to. im uploading the photos to flikr with a few extra ones of me in all my glory. ill send you the link later, k? k. Take care Dave!

interview thank you letter

On 08/11/2007, Wayne K wrote:

Dear Mr. smith,

I greatly enjoyed our conversation about KPMG's assurance associate position today. Speaking with you has reinforced my perception of KPMG's outstanding employees. It is always a great opportunity to be able to speak with a partner, especially one as well traveled and engaged with his career as you are. I especially liked hearing about your insight into your firm's ongoing efforts in maintaining the consistency and the quality in the service provided from each office. You told me that the constantly changing nature of the accounting profession continues to keep you interested in your work. This dynamic work environment is also one of my reasons for pursing the assurance position with KPMG.

During the interview, you asked me about a skill I could improve upon and about any regrets I have during my time at UCSC. Unfortunately, my answers left little time for me to tell you about my strengths. I am convinced I have all the qualities you are looking for in a candidate. I am a very dedicated and detail-oriented worker with verbal and written communication skills to match. If you could spare some time, I would like to provide specific examples from my educational and work experience. Many of my peers would make great candidates, however, I feel that my previous work experience in SOX Section 404 compliance and in the client-oriented contracting industry set me apart.

With six clients to manage, you must be extremely busy. I appreciate the time you have taken out of your schedule to interview me and I look forward to seeing you again. Thank you.


Wayne K
From: Dave Smith
Date: 8 Nov 2007 14:13
Subject: Re: interview thank you letter
To: Wayne K

Wayne Kerr,

Nice try buddy! Seriously, trying to scrape some credibility back after some terrible question responses ain't gonna win no brownie points with me. I've never read a message that leaves me with such an intrusive feeling that I've been rimmed before.

On the other hand though, I could use a few yes men. It's hard enough constantly arguing with those around me to convince them that my approach is the best, so if you can promise me that you'll agree with everything I say, in any circumstances, we may be able to take this further.

Think about it.

Dave S.
From: wayne kerr
Date: 25 September 2009 22:30
Subject: Re: interview thank you letter
To: Dave Smith

Dude your band sucks balls.  If I was that bad, I'd kill myself...

Friday, September 21, 2007

Many Languages Are Dying

On 20/09/2007, Blanca Gholash wrote:

Researchers Say Many Languages Are Dying

WASHINGTON, Tue Sep 18, 05:53 PM

When every known speaker of the language Amurdag gets together, there's still no one to talk to. Native Australian Charlie Mangulda is the only person alive known to speak that language, one of thousands around the world on the brink of extinction. From rural Australia to Siberia to Oklahoma, languages that embody the history and traditions of people are dying, researchers said Tuesday.

While there are an estimated 7,000 languages spoken around the world today, one of them dies out about every two weeks, according to linguistic experts struggling to save at least some of them.

Five hotspots where languages are most endangered were listed Tuesday in a briefing by the Living Tongues Institute for Endangered Languages and the National Geographic Society.

In addition to northern Australia, eastern Siberia and Oklahoma and the U.S. Southwest, many native languages are endangered in South America Ecuador, Colombia, Peru, Brazil and Bolivia as well as the area including British Columbia, and the states of Washington and Oregon.

Losing languages means losing knowledge, says K. David Harrison, an assistant professor of linguistics at Swarthmore College.

"When we lose a language, we lose centuries of human thinking about time, seasons, sea creatures, reindeer, edible flowers, mathematics, landscapes, myths, music, the unknown and the everyday."

As many as half of the current languages have never been written down, he estimated.

That means, if the last speaker of many of these vanished tomorrow, the language would be lost because there is no dictionary, no literature, no text of any kind, he said.

Harrison is associate director of the Living Tongues Institute based in Salem, Ore. He and institute director Gregory D.S. Anderson analyzed the top regions for disappearing languages.

Anderson said languages become endangered when a community decides that its language is an impediment. The children may be first to do this, he explained, realizing that other more widely spoken languages are more useful.

The key to getting a language revitalized, he said, is getting a new generation of speakers. He said the institute worked with local communities and tries to help by developing teaching materials and by recording the endangered language.

Harrison said that the 83 most widely spoken languages account for about 80 percent of the world's population while the 3,500 smallest languages account for just 0.2 percent of the world's people. Languages are more endangered than plant and animal species, he said.

The hot spots listed at Tuesday's briefing:

Northern Australia, 153 languages. The researchers said aboriginal Australia holds some of the world's most endangered languages, in part because aboriginal groups splintered during conflicts with white settlers. Researchers have documented such small language communities as the three known speakers of Magati Ke, the three Yawuru speakers and the lone speaker of Amurdag.

Central South America including Ecuador, Colombia, Peru, Brazil and Bolivia 113 languages. The area has extremely high diversity, very little documentation and several immediate threats. Small and socially less-valued indigenous languages are being knocked out by Spanish or more dominant indigenous languages in most of the region, and by Portuguese in Brazil.

Northwest Pacific Plateau, including British Columbia in Canada and the states of Washington and Oregon in the U.S., 54 languages. Every language in the American part of this hotspot is endangered or moribund, meaning the youngest speaker is over age 60. An extremely endangered language, with just one speaker, is Siletz Dee-ni, the last of 27 languages once spoken on the Siletz reservation in Oregon.

Eastern Siberian Russia, China, Japan 23 languages. Government policies in the region have forced speakers of minority languages to use the national and regional languages and, as a result, some have only a few elderly speakers.

Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico 40 languages. Oklahoma has one of the highest densities of indigenous languages in the United States. A moribund language of the area is Yuchi, which may be unrelated to any other language in the world. As of 2005, only five elderly members of the Yuchi tribe were fluent.

The research is funded by the Australian government, U.S. National Science Foundation, National Geographic Society and grants from foundations.
From: Dave Smith
Date: 20 Sep 2007 16:19
Subject: Re: Many Languages Are Dying
To: Blanca Gholash
Cc: Fiona Fister-Stooges, Rabbit Roach, Mark Katschinski, Josephh O'leary, Joseph Crew, Hussein, Charlie Wolfy, Ceri Diva, Bill Croc, Tasaku Tsunami, Seth




Tuesday, September 18, 2007


On 18/09/2007, Jacob Hutton wrote:

Hi Dave,

Let me first say how great it is to be back in a choir. I've really enjoyed the first two rehearsals.

My old choir (Cambridge) will be touring to Hong Kong in December, and I'm planning to go (both to add my voice, and more personally because the conductor is my girlfriend who I only get to see every few months). I've just discovered the dates, and unfortunately they coincide exactly with the week when your choir is performing: 1-9th December. :(

However, I am very keen to sing this term and can make all the family concerts, and the one day retreat. I feel I could contribute during the rehearsals even if not performing in the concerts, though can understand why you might prefer me not to sing. In any case, please let me know what you think.

Next term there should be no problems.


From: Dave Smith
Date: 18 Sep 2007 09:28
Subject: Re: Concerts
To: Jacob Hutton


I've really enjoyed having you in the first rehersals! The way your pert little buttocks sway when you reach for the high notes has caused more than a little stirring from my end, for certain ;)

So things are pretty rocky between you and your girlfriend, huh? Women hey, WHO NEEDS THEM??? Are you with me!? I hope you say yes.

On a more serious note though, I require complete dedication from my choir and no less. Getting married? Choir comes first. Wife giving birth? Choir comes first. Usually I wouldn't give your request a second thought, but the thought of losing the sight of those buttocks is one I'm not sure I can bare.

I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement where everyone's happy. Perhaps some private sessions also ;) ?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Confirming Luncheon

On 10/07/07, Fiona Fister-Stooges wrote:

Dear Davey,

I did not get a confirmation (or reconfirmation) about the 26th at noon at Todai.

Could you possibly bring a copy of the Janacek Mass and......also my harp CD. See photo above as a reminder about the harp CD!


From: Dave Smith
Date: 10-Jul-2007 13:51
Subject: Re: Confirming luncheon
To: Fiona Fister-Stooges

Dearest Fiona,

I have to say, when I saw that photo of you and the harp, some feelings stirred within me that I haven't felt for quite some time. How I wish to be in the place of the harp until I too become one with wood.

Give me a ring about Todai, I long to hear your voice.


On 11 Jul 2007 05:26:33 +0900, Fiona Fister-Stooges wrote:

Dear Dave,

See you on the 26th to discuss the conference. I'll wear my Clara Schumann locket,so don't forget my CD. In case of change of your schedule, please ring me:090-8112-5294.



Todai has become so business like:our ID cards are now also credit cards!!!

From: Dave Smith
Date: 11-Jul-2007 10:52
Subject: Re: Confirming luncheon
To: Fiona Fister-Stooges

Fio of my desires,

I'll be counting down the days to the 26th. I long to see the Clara Schumann locket lie still on the carpet floor as your beautiful naked body radiates in the light of the moon as it peeks through the open window. The capitalist shackles of what Todai has become will seem like nothing when compared to the animal desires that we feel for each other. Time will stand still for us. There will be nothing but our forms as one, and the passion within.



P.S. My willy is big.
On 11 Jul 2007 21:40:10 +0900, Fiona Fister-Stooges wrote:

Allerliebster Davey!

Gee, I saw that film. I thought it was called "Free Willy" and not "Big Willy."

With deep affection,


On another note: I was reflecting on your comment that Schutz used the tenor as a type of "hazan" or cantor. I was watching the old Al Jolson "Jazz Singer" in which he sings Kol Nidry on Yom Kippur and researched that. One version of Kol Nidry is influenecd by Gregorian chant---idea being the synagogue windows were open and heard the cathedral choirs and in any event Gregorian chant comes from the synagogues. It's all cyclical and we are all one.

Bis Juli 26 and discussion of Janacek.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Self-Determination Seminar

From: Eva Longoria
Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2007 10:03 AM
To: Brian Harvey; Mary Whitehouse
Cc: Maureen Herpes
Subject: Self-Determination Seminar

Here is what I have been able to put together for the seminar. I have started a power point. I trust that you will make some edits and take with you a version either on your laptop or a jump drive.

I suggest that you contact the people who are participating and schedule a time to meet, perhaps on Monday to review finalize the plans for the seminar and make last minute additions. Here are the people coming to participate

Marueen Herpes-Oregon
David Lynch and Darius Jones-Iowa
Dave Smith-Vermont

Because I want to be sure that you have received this. Please confirm.

Best wishes as you finalize this.

Don't miss the Annual Conference in Orlando, May 21-24. Register online today.

Eva Longoria
Education and Training Director
From: Brian Harvey
Sent: Friday, May 18, 2007 4:21 AM
To: Eva Longoria; Mary Whitehouse
Cc: Maureen Herpes; David Lynch; Dave Smith
Subject: RE: Self-Determination Seminar

Ev, Maureen, Mary, Darius and Dave,

Hi and thanks all for collaborating on such an important and exciting innovation.

I'd like to suggest the following format for our 90 minutes

Introduction to session and underlying definitions and issues Brian 15 minutes
Oregon initiative Maureen 15 minutes
Iowa initiative Mary and Darius 15 minutes
Vermont initiative Dave 15 minutes
Audience discussion 30 minutes (and throughout as manageable).

I've added slides to set up the discussion and to prompt a discussion about suggested next steps at the end.

What do you folks think? Want to get together on Monday for a brief prep session? If so, what are good times?

Ev: can you arrange for grayscale handouts, 3 to a page, stapled and double-sided?

Thanks again!


On 18/05/07, Maureen Herpes wrote:

Hi All,

Sounds great to me Brian,

Late afternoon would work best for me in terms of meeting. Anything after 4:00 or so.


From: Dave Smith
Sent: Monday, May 21, 2007 3:25 PM
To: Maureen Herpes
Cc: Brian Harvey; Eva Longoria; Mary Whitehouse; David Lynch
Subject: Re: Self-Determination Seminar

Hi All,

Monday's not good for me, it's a friend of mine's birthday Sunday and we're going for some brewskis till the early hours, I was planning on taking a sicky.

Also, how come Maureen gets to talk about her Oregon snoozefest before I knock the crowd down with my Vermont stylee? Seriously, I'm all for equality in the workplace and chicks getting money to work yeah, but we don't want the crowd to walk out within 20 seconds of the start!


Dave Smith.
On 21/05/07, Brian Harvey wrote:

How's about 10 am in the lobby after and outside the Copeland keynote tomorrow (Tuesday morning)?


From: Dave Smith
Date: 22-May-2007 09:47
Subject: Re: Self-Determination Seminar
To: Brian Harvey
Cc: Maureen Herpes, Eva Longoria, Mary Whitehouse, David Lynch

Be there or be square.

Friday, April 13, 2007

a Geidai prof

On 30/03/07, Barry Manilow wrote:

Any knowledge of her? a Geidai prof...


Barry Manilow

on sabbatical until September 2007


FCCJ NOTICE 03/30/07 1:33 PM

Vernal Soprano Recital with Noriko Sasaki

Friday, April 20, 2007 at 6:30 p.m.

Fruehlingsglaube and Die Forelle (Fr. Schubert), All Mein Gedanken, Schlagende Herzen and Kornblumen by R. Strauss, Fruehlingsmorgen and Scheiden und Meiden by G. Mahler, Opera "Die Tote Stat" and Marietta's Lied by E. Korngold and Four Last Songs by R. Strauss after an intermission.

"Dave Smith" 03/30/07 5:01 PM

Yeah, she smells like badgers.
On 30/03/07, Barry Manilow wrote:

Well, yes, but I don't intend to hug her ... does she sing like a badger?

Of course good sopranos seem to be a dime a dozen in Tokyo, so chances are you've not heard her, maybe not even heard of her (unless she's the teacher of one of your present or past choir members...)


Barry Manilow

on sabbatical until September 2007


On 30/03/07, Dave Smith wrote:

Sorry, my initial reply with this email must have been quite confusing.

What I really meant was that she smelled like hammers.

That's hammers.

Not badgers.



Thank you!! /Daytona Blanka University English departure 4th grade

On 10/04/07, Gong Li wrote:

Dear Mr.Smith


I am Gong Li. Yesterday, I was very happy to hear the truth about my degree from you.

Because I did not know why I had got 'D' although I attended every class, took the examination and submitted the report.

I very thank you to make time to change my degree though you were busy yesterday.

Thank you very much!!!!!

By the way, I am sad that I can not take your class and go to talk to your office because you moved form your office of English departure to other departure.

I like your class and office. Your lecture is very interesting and your office make me relaxing with nice music, good lights and chocolate?

If I have time (now I am busy to do job hunting), I would like to help you perform BBC concert again. If you need help, please tell me by this E-mail address.


From Gong Li

From: Dave Smith
Date: 13-Apr-2007 10:52
Subject: Re: Thank you!! /Daytona Blanka University English departure 4th grade student/Gong Li
To: Gong Li


Now I've upheld my side of the agreement, it's about time you upheld yours. I didn't upgrade your 'D' for nothing you know, and as karma dictates, 'what goes around CUMS around'.

I hope you understand that I could have gotten into a LOT of trouble for doing what I did. These favours don't come lightly. I'm a man and I have man's needs. We need to set a date for the return of favour, Gong.

By the way, I like the euphamism "BBC concert". I don't quite understand how it relates to sex, but it sounds racy!

Yours Winkingly,


Thursday, February 22, 2007


On 2/19/07, Amy White wrote:

Hi Dave,

How are you going? Just thought I'd drop you a line so you have my email address now. How's the job hunt puttering along? Also, I was wondering if you could send me Elle's email address.

Hope to see you in Wah book extravaganza world soon, i pop my head in time to time but haven't seen you again yet.


:) Ames
Hey Ames,

Good to hear from you. Job hunt is going ok, its a little frustrating at time but you have to expect these things. What have you been up to?

Elle's email address is*

Its been a while since Ive been to Wah book, will have to pop by soon.

take care,


* The email address I've sent I have now registered. Remember, I change the names in the correspondence here, so emailing will be futile.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Work Experience/Internships at PerpetualMotionCorp

On 1/25/07, Graham Gooch wrote:

Good afternoon, Mr Smith. I apologise for taking so long to reply to you. I've just about conquered the busiest part of my workload for the month, so I am now able to turn my attention to you. I have spoken to our HR department. If your son would like to send his c.v. to, with a brief explanation of what areas (marketing/investments etc.) he may be interested in working in, they will review it and see what they can do. I have been told that they have a number of students already booked, so they can't promise anything, but please feel free to open a dialogue at least.

My filling is holding out well, and I hope to see you for my next scheduled check-up at a future date.

Best regards,

From: Dave Smith
Sent: 16 February 2007 23:05
To: Coltman, Dave
Subject: Re: Work Experience/Internships at PerpetualMotionCorp

Mr Coltman,

I sort your filling out, practically for free, using premium filling material (not my usual mercury based stuff). This was all on the understanding that you would place my son at PerpetualMotionCorp. He is more than talented after all. I didnt ask much, it was only a student placement and yet you still deny me this.

I'm just disappointed.

That said, may I remind you that a hygenist session is due and could you contact my office to arrange it shortly.

All the best,

From: Gooch, Graham
Date: Feb 19, 2007 9:35 AM
Subject: RE: Work Experience/Internships at PerpetualMotionCorp
To: Dave Smith

I sent it to the wrong Dave Smith, didn't I. Sorry about that. Good wind up though, had me going for a bit!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Pure Music

On 16/02/07, Barry Manilow wrote:

Given your PhD topic, I assume you know what "pure music" is -- any substance? to be avoided?

If you'd be interested in going I can get tickets.


From: The Music Committee
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2007 13:54:33 +0900 (JST)
Subject: The Natural Sounds of Pure Music

The Natural Sounds of Pure Music

Sunday, March 18, 2007 15:00p.m.

Pure Music is a fast developing genre in the music world that produces the transparent sounds of nature in harmony with the world of revered classical music. The thrust of this particular genre is its calming effect on the listener's brain contributing toward physical and spiritual healing. Recently Pure Music has gained worldwide attention as a therapy in the medical field.

Mr. Hiroki Tamaki, composer and violinist, has gained a reputation in Japan as a leader in Pure Music. Among his fans are medical institutions and nursing homes where he plays to an audience seeking to relieve such symptoms as insomnia, high blood pressure and headaches. Tamaki is a graduate of Tokyo National University of Fine Arts & Music and also conducts a program on NHK radio. He will be performing with pianist/ physician, Dr. Rikka Fukuda, who is known as the "singer-song doctor" among his patients for promoting Pure Music as a treatment. Harpist, Ms Yoshiko Miyake, will accompany the musicians. She is a graduate of Tokyo National University of Fine Arts and Music. In keeping with the concept of healing, the musical trio also plays for charities.

Tickets are available for the concert with tea and cake at 3,500yen (including 166yen tax).

Reservations at the Reception Desk, please, at 3211-3161 or on-line to

(Reservations canceled less than 24 hours prior to the event will be charged in full)

The Music Committee

Aaaaaah, pure music. Pure music pure music pure music pure music pure music. Yes! Pure music. You can probably already guess my opinion on Pure Music. I mean, is music ever really "Pure"? Is "Pure" ever "Music"? It's an interesting conundrum and one that I think difficult to describe in words alone. These are exciting times my friend. Exciting times indeed. But is "Pure" exciting, or is "exciting" Pure? I'm finding this hard to describe through text as my mind is racing ahead of my hands. If you want to know my true opinion on "Pure Music", then the next time you see me, grab my shoulders and below "Excelsior!" and to the next level we shall travel.


On 16/02/07, Barry Manilow wrote:

I suspected as much. I'll give the concert a pass (but as it will be unheard, not a passing grade).

I assume that the therapy side is just as, well, unexceptional? Or, to rephrase, mood music is only that for people who want to pay for sound in the background that they won't listen to -- and if they're forced to listen to it their mood might change and not for the better. [Uh, I thought I had a cute phrase coming, but no it's a flop.]  Anyway "pure music" doesn't improve anyone's mood or mental health if the standard of comparison is either silence or listenable music ... ?

Don't rush to answer, but thanks for answering the first time around.

From: Dave Smith
Date: 16-Feb-2007 14:50
Subject: Re: Pure Music
To: Barry Manilow


Don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm as open minded as the next chap, but this "pure music" leaves me feeling that the dance of the emperors new clothes is leaving us with an earful of pink pancakes, yet very little syrup to aid their digestion.

I mean, you wouldn't trust Paris Hilton to mow your lawn now, would you?

From: Barry Manilow
Date: 17-Feb-2007 14:52
Subject: Re: Pure Music
To: Dave Smith

Well, there is techno music that I like (Chemical Brothers) but rap is not my thing. But New Age music ... some new music will eventually be classic, but I've never heard anything "New" that I wanted to hear a second time. Most I didn't want to hear the first time. Jazz on recordings is not something that I like, but live jazz can be quite nice. Ditto for various showy virtuoso pieces, they demand showmanship and a CD can't convey that. On the other hand I can't imagine sitting through a concert of Gregorian chant, but a recording can be really nice. On the Japanese end there is gagaku, the most excruciating concert experience I've ever had, far worse than the concert I went to straight from the hospital after having all 4 wisdom teeth removed ... a complete performance of Handel's Messiah. A full dose of Demarol (or maybe it was morphine) may have had had an effect on that latter experience.
As to Paris Hilton, I thought she liked guys to mow her lawn ... so no, I wouldn't trust her to mow mine.

From: Dave Smith
Date: 19-Feb-2007 09:09
Subject: Re: Pure Music
To: Barry Manilow


This is too wide a subject to discuss by email. Can you do lunch today or tomorrow? We could find a good titty bar somewhere (I mean, they must be somewhere, right?) and be naughty.

From: Barry Manilow
Date: 19-Feb-2007 11:08
Subject: Music
To: Dave Smith

Uh, a 6 pm message for lunch today????

Anyway, I can potentially head in tomorrow (Tues) but expect to be in on Wed for an evening seminar so that would work. I'm in on Thursday, too, with a lunch and an afternoon and, remind me, something in the evening? No dinner set yet but since it's a fulbright seminar a group are very highly likely to head out afterwareds, so Thurs is not so good.
BTW are you doing voice sessions this month? I know you'd mentioned starting at 7 pm but not sure when etc etc.


This is too wide a subject to discuss by email. Can you do lunch today
tomorrow? We could find a good titty bar somewhere (I mean, they must
somewhere, right?) and be naughty.

-- during lunch?? our ideas of naughtiness probably differ, too....

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Cup of Trembling

On 1/11/07, Katy Hill wrote:

My friends and I were so happy to meet you yesterday and so delighted that you will help us out with Cup. Your authentic voice will be great - I thinnk we told you we will have Englebert Humperdink (came with the Steve Miller years ago) with her bit of a German accent and all of that will make it so much more believable. At least Mama won't have a Southern drawl.

I will copy and send you the parts we'd like for you to do. If it turns out that you can be with us that would be wonderful. Even if you can't, it would be great if you could come out to Holy Cross, see the church (beautiful in new church way - not beautiful like Prince George) - meet the cast and maybe go through a rehearsal with us. Aside from Bill Oddie who is a wonderful, professional actor, we have Fartmoot (Lutheran minister) and Willie Nelson (retired Methodist minister) and my husband, Harry Hill (retired Episcopal minister) who wil read (taped) the Commendation for the read William Dieterle. It is a powerful play and we're pulling out the stops.

Thanks again, we'll be in touch. Sincerely, Katy Hill (director)
From: Dave Smith
To: Katy Hill
Sent: Thursday, January 11, 2007 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: The Cup of Trembling

Yes, I was interested in participating but wasn't 100% sure. This email has made a few things very clear to me.

Not only do you have Lutherans freely participating in your production but Methodists too. I thought I made it very clear that I can't associate with their abomination of the word. What suprises me most is your blithe acceptance of the situation.

That said, how about dinner next Thursday evening. I'll leave "the wife" at home (if you want...)


Dave (Donkey Dong) Smith

On 1/11/07, Katy Hill wrote:

Is this a joke? Katy Hill

From: Dave Smith
Date: Jan 11, 2007 10:55 PM
Subject: Re: The Cup of Trembling
To: Katy Hill

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


On 20/12/06, Barry Manilow wrote:

Can't make this evening -- dinner on behalf of my sponsoring professors predecessor, in Japan for a week from Argentina.

I have the 100 Carols for Choirs and can look at the music on my own.

Anything else for Sunday?

Concert in Bueno Friday by the Sonic couple.


Barry Manilow, Professor of Economics

From: Dave Smith
Date: 14-Feb-2007 16:21
Subject: Re: rehearsal
To: Barry Manilow


I'm too embarrassed to ask this in person, but I've been getting a LOT of itching in my nether-regions of late and am very worried. Do you know who you're meant to talk to about these things? I'm really worried it's crabs. Please don't mention this to me in person, I'm so ashamed.


On 14/02/07, Barry Manilow wrote:

Uh, not common around here, but my children picked up friends once in the Philippines, a fine comb will get them out of hair which provides indisputable evidence. It may be easiest to get a dog/cat shampoo in the pet section of a large store that is designed for fleas and shirami, but a pharmacy will also have a shampoo specific to that purpose. But it could also be dry skin, and lotion will do the trick.

From: Dave Smith
Date: 14-Feb-2007 16:43
Subject: Re: rehearsal
To: Barry Manilow

I would suspect dry skin, but I did something lately which I deeply regret but makes me think it probably is crabs, if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the help. I mean it.


ICU Application

On 21/12/06, Mooney Suzuki wrote:

Dear Mr. Smith,

Thank you for your application for a position at the English Language program of International Christian University. We received a very large number of applications and the process of selecting the top candidate was a difficult one.

I am sorry to say that you were not selected as a final candidate for a position at this time.

I will keep your application materials on file for the next year and contact you again in case we have any unexpected openings during that time.

The selection committee appreciates the time and effort you went to in applying to ICU and we wish you the very best in your future career.


William T Hooker, Director

English Language Program
From: Dave Smith
Date: 14-Feb-2007 16:09
Subject: Re: ICU Application
To: William T Hooker


Ye, wotever, I no its been like totally ages since you mised out on the gratest oputunity you have ever had (eg hiring ME) and you totally ruined my xmas but i dont care. im a survivor foo', and i new that my skillz wud be totally apreshiated as long as i had faith in myself and my lord. i like to feel that the lord touched me and now ive got myself my dreamjob as a translator for a ringtone company. ha! wot you think of that ay? i bet you didnt even find anyone else for the job and now you totally regrettin not givin me a holla to take th job after all!!1111!!!

hay, if you want i can send u over a sms wiv the lords prayer to the tune of Vengaboys for a discountid rate. itd be like potery in moshun and ironic. definitly ironic.

Dave Smith, fo real.

Emailing: Application form

On 2/13/07, Lisa Riley wrote:

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your interest in the current vacancy at Robinson.

Please find enclosed an application form and diversity analysis for you to complete and return.

If you do not hear from us within 4 weeks please assume that you have been unsuccessful on this occasion, however we will keep your application on file for 6 months if any future vacancies arise.

Yours sincerely,

Lisa Riley
From: Dave Smith
Date: 13-Feb-2007 21:16
Subject: Re: Emailing: Application form
To: Lisa Riley

I dont have a printer so I'm writing the information here instead of filling out the form. You can fill out the form for me. Can you do it fast as I want to make a good impression on the people at Robinson.

They'll know the role information, its attached in a word file anyway. just fill that out appropritately (its just common sense)

You already have my contact info so you can fill that section out too.

Here is my employment:

2004-Now Kwik Save Checkout Operator - Did stock taking and till work. the usual.

Here is my education:

3 C's 1D and 2E's at GCSE (including CDT)

I am healthy and I dont have a criminal conviction or whatever, so just fill out that section like you should and I'm white british, so there should be no problems there.

please could you get back to me as soon as you have done this so I know when to hand in my notice at my current place.

From: Riley, Lisa
Date: Feb 14, 2007 11:07 AM
Subject: RE: Emailing: Application form
To: Dave Smith

Sorry Dave, we do need you to fill out an application form and we need a signature, please can I have your address so that I can send one out to you in the post today


From: Dave Smith
Date: 16-Feb-2007 22:34
Subject: Re: Emailing: Application form
To: Riley, Lisa


Lets cut the chit-chat. I can read between the lines. You want me, its quite plain to see. It was valentines day when you tried to get my "address". Jees, talk about being non professional.

Look, you and I both know you can fill in that form for me and we can both be that bit closer to working for Robinson together.

hugs and kisses,


ingrid smith sent you this eBay item: SIERRA DESKTOP PUBLISHING/CLIP ART PRINT ARTIST 4

On 1/30/07, eBay member: Ingrid Smith wrote:


Ingrid Smith sent you this eBay item

Hi, I saw this item on eBay and thought you might be interested. could you try and buy it for me thanks mum


Current bid: £0.99 (0 bids)

Postage: £2.95

End date: 04-Feb-07

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Details for item number:

Description: For sale here is the Sierra Home Print Artist 4 software. Included in the sale are the CD-Rom and user guides/manual. It was published in 1996 and is ... See more

Post to: Worldwide

Seller: Member is a PowerSeller

99.9% Positive Feedback
From: Dave Smith
Date: 02-Feb-2007 21:20
Subject: Re: Ingrid Smith sent you this eBay item: SIERRA DESKTOP PUBLISHING/CLIP ART PRINT ARTIST 4
To: Ingrid Smith

Hi Mum,

Not a problem I put the order in for £299. To be honest it seems alot to pay for it, but I guess you know what you want.



On 23/01/07, Lesley Judd wrote:

Hey Dave,

Well with the New Year and everything you must be pretty busy with all your work. I am At The center right now. Doing my daily send outs. Just thought I would send you a quick not to say hello, and to see how you are doing? What's new? Not much with me. Same old stuff. Just left the Hall with Dr. Jacobs. we had a great meeting today. It went alot better than i thought it was going to go. However, I do miss your classes here. I have actually been gone from here since Thanksgiving and decided I will continue to come until i find work. Also will stop in to Community Friendship social club fro movies and snacks. So back to group I go and God Bless.

Dave Smith wrote:

Jesus christ Lesley!

I TEACH people, I'm not your BEST FRIEND. Let me illustrate:


Honestly, it's at moments like these that I think you didn't learn a single thing. It's people like you who make me think that I'm wasting my time and I should go back to being a fluffer. Okay, maybe I'm venting on you more than you really deserve, but I guess I've finally snapped.

Don't contact me again.
From: Lesley Judd
Date: 24-Jan-2007 23:49
Subject: Re: friend
To: Dave Smith

Hey! Are you confussed with me and someone else? Because I think that you are a sounding more desperate than me at the moment!!!! Just Kidding!! I know you teach, your one of the best. Thanks for sending me a letter. It's good to hear from you. Sounds like you were talking to a girlfriend.Are you dating again? Talk with you soon. TEACH

Lesley Judd

Thank you for being patience

On 28/11/06, Chisaki wrote:


I have to email you earlier but my play made me worn out physically and mentally this time, so
Couldn't. Thank you very much for being patient with me. This season is a bad timing for me.
Still this week I have to work at night time for TV shooting. Even if today I only attend rehearsal with you 7pm till 8:30pm to get out from shooting.
Sorry about these unusual working time.

But I really enjoy myself participating this concert. Classic is not my thing but really help my mental condition and
Love to being in your rehearsal. And happy to sing Mozart in the choir. Thank you for your generosity and patience.
Pls accept my sincere apology for not being in rehearsal sometimes or leaving early.

Chisaki Hama
From: Dave Smith
Date: 11-Jan-2007 21:58
Subject: Re: Thank you for being patience
To: Chisaki Hama


It has taken me a long time to reply to this email because up until now I have been too angry.

Why do you leave rehearsals early or miss them? What have I done to deserve this?

Next time you see me I want you to embrace me and kiss my neck. This will demonstrate your commitment to moazrt and restore your standing with me.

I have many dreams where we can be together but we (you) need to get back on track for these to come true.

be good,

From: Chisaki Hama
Date: 15-Jan-2007 02:32
Subject: Apology
To: Dave Smith


I am very sorry if my previous email made you angry. I thought even if my job suddenly happens on Tuesday. Its good to be show up and try to sing even if short time because I like singing and like learning from you. But if that attitude made you unhappy and unpleasant I appologise. It doesn’t mean that attitude is iikagen or something like that. opposite. Its doens’t mean I don’t like you or Morzart, I adore you as an artist and misic professor.

My job is not the same one like other people no businessman or housewife, I have to work on weekends and sometimes at night.And that payment will save my dairy life. But I will do my best from now on and if you let me, I will embrace you when I meet you next time.


Curriculum vitae

On 10/24/06, Jessica Big wrote:


My name is Jessica Big and I am looking for a job in the area of your practice. I have attatched my CV.

Many Thanks
From: Dave Smith
Date: 25-Oct-2006 21:41
Subject: Re: FW: Curriculum vitae
To: Jessica Big
Cc: Dave Smith

Hi Jessica,

Just a few questions before we proceed to the interview stage.

I notice that you have a B at chemistry A Level, is this something that I should be concerned with? How do you cope with failure?

I also notice that you have some vaguely related work experience in Darlington. Please advise on which chip shop is the most gourmet in this area please as I have a son who frequents the public houses in this area.

Once I have received these answers we can proceed to the next stage. Please dont be disconcerted by a delay in response as I am very busy at the moment, dealing with more important issues.

best regards,


Royal Court, Acre Lane

From: Flash Gordon
Sent: 18 September 2006 12:06
To: Travis Morrison
Subject: Emailing: cucontactdisplay.htm

Hi Travis Can I have some info on this in order that I can reply. Cheers

From: Travis Morrison
Sent: 19 September 2006 10:16
To: Sophia Lauren
Cc: Flash Gordon
Subject: FW: Emailing: cucontactdisplay.htm

Good morning Sophia,

If Montgomery & Jones are going to replace the gas fire and back boiler then
presumably deal with the probable presence of asbestos materials then
this shouldn't be aproblem. If you need my involvement please advise.

Good morning Flash,

You may not be aware that Sophia Lauren has joined us as Senior
Surveyor dealing with the services side.

Regards to you both.

Travis Morrison.
From: Sophia Lauren
Sent: 19 September 2006 10:44
To: Bill Beaumont
Subject: Royal Court, Acre Lane

I have received the attached query from a tenant at the above scheme. Please confirm if there is a programme for the replacement/upgrade of these back boilers at this scheme and if asbestos material is present what are your methods for dealing with this.


Sophia J Lauren
From: Bill Beaumont
Sent: 19 September 2006 10:55
To: Sophia Lauren
Subject: RE: Royal Court, Acre Lane


Mark is very aware of current issues at Royal Court, we are in a program of renewing all back boilers, as far as I am aware there is no issue with asbestos. A test was carried out on one of the previous removals & was shown to be negative. If however on removal of the boiler concerns are raised about asbestos then we will call in our approved Asbestos removal experts to carry out the works on our behalf


From: Sophia Lauren
Sent: 04 October 2006 12:59
To: Flash Gordon
Subject: FW: Royal Court, Acre Lane

Hi Flash

Further to your query from the tenantof the above project. Please find below reply from contractor. If you need more info let me know.



Sophia J Lauren

On 10/4/06, Flash Gordon wrote:

Hi Dave,

My apologies for the delay in getting back to you regarding your query on asbestos and replacement heaters. Please see the emails below which I believe answer your query.


Flash Gordon
Senior Estate Manager
From: Dave Smith
Date: 04-Oct-2006 21:36
Subject: Re: FW: Royal Court, Acre Lane
To: Flash Gordon

If you dont get this sorted damn quick I'm going to blow MY bolier!!!!

From: Flash Gordon
Date: Oct 5, 2006 8:57 AM
Subject: RE: FW: Royal Court, Acre Lane
To: Dave Smith

Hi Dave, I have no idea why you have sent me such an abrupt response. Please could you telephone me on 0818118181 to discuss. If you get my voice mail please leave your number and I will get back to you.

Regards Flash.